With this blog comes the hopes and dreams that it will serve multiple purposes.
The first and most significant purpose is to serve as an avenue toward healing the pain that many children of families of violence still carry with them in their adult lives.
Secondly, it will provide educational material. As you make your journey, hopefully you will find the support here of others who have made or who are in the process of making this same journey. The tools and the support that you will need can be found here.

Be aware the content of this blog is in no way "Dressed Up". This blog, like family violence itself, is not a walk in the park. Here the reality is faced both past and present!

Content will be added to this blog as it is made available.

PLEASE KNOW THAT YOU ARE NOT ALONE !!

Monday, February 18, 2008

Turmoil



Turmoil seems around every corner.
Is there a way to escape it?
I think not.

We live with fear every day.
Do not tell us to think postive.
The word has little meaning to us now.
We are just trying to survive.

Can you grasp the need for
minute to minute survival?
I wonder.

You all sit in your cozy little chairs
in your quiet little minds and wonder
what to eat for the day.

We, on the other hand,
sit in tension all of the time,
wondering if now is the time
we will go over the edge.

Do you sit and look around
every little corner to see if
the one person is lurking there?
Certainly not.

People would think you crazy.

But what if that lurking person
lived inside of you?

What if he or she had the force
to destroy you
and all that you know and love?
Could you sit in your comfy little chair
and not worry?
I wonder, and yet
that is just what you expect all of us to do.

Weariness is a part of every day.
The ones on the inside grow stronger.

You tell us to fight.
What if there is no fight left?
Can you not understand weariness?
Can you not understand
fear for one's self or sanity?
No, these things are far from your imagination.

But let me tell you
these are what we live with every day.

Hope, you say Have "hope."
The words sounds wonderful.
We'll try, but remember please,
our war never stops.
Some of our people never sleep.
They thrive on fear.

Our fear especially.

Please do not judge,
you have not been in our place.
You cannot begin to understand
the daily fight that must be fought.

Don't tell me that we are strong enough to fight,
we are weary.
Don't look at us and say Pull Yourself Together.
Our System doesn't work that way.

Don't look at us and say you understand.
You can't, you have never fought this battle.
Don't tell us to think postive or think of us as one.
Others do not understand.

PLEASE, PLEASE,
try to see that we are all working
the best that we can.

We do not try to live your life for you,
please do not try to live ours.
You cannot,
because we have enough trouble living our own.

We have others who will try
to make your life run more smoothly,
but even they tire and must pull back.

Please try to realize
we want this to be over as much as you do.
Our life is not our own,
it belongs to many others
and so we must do the best we can
with the things that are given to us.

Most of us realize
that it puts a strain on your life
and we are sorry,
but look at our life,
if you can call it that.

The anger, terror,
fear and weariness abound.
Can we control this
much longer without rest?

We'll see!

© 2001 by Far
~*~*~*~
Thank you Far for sharing.

1 comment:

Mary said...

All I can say is WOW!!! I can relate to that so well. And it is so true, people expect us to just get over it, how can we. I know I can't have struggle everyday of late with all the flashbacks and memories crashing in on me, and people want us to fight and be strong? They don't walk in our shoes, they don't see the torment we go through..thanks for a great post...Mary