DISTORTIONS OF ANGER
Adult children of violence witnessed anger in the extreme.
They are taught how to rage by the raging adult.
Some learn how to rage and bully to avoid being hurt by others.
Others become afraid of expressing their anger
because of the extremes of the rages they witnessed.
Adult children may distort their anger into other feelings
such as depression, self-loathing, or failure
for having failed to save or protect the victim and stop the batterer.
Adult children of violence
may harbor unexpressed anger at the abused parent
for failing to protect them or a loved sibling from a beating;
or for ignoring their pain, be it physical or emotional,
during battering incidents.
May be angry at the abused parent for that parent's passivity
when attacked and/or failure to leave the abuse.
Adult children may learn how to
repress or "stonewall"anger from the abused parent.
The child may also be angry with the abused parent
for not getting angry and standing up for self.
The adult child may "take on"the anger
which the abused parent should have expressed.
The adult child of violence does not witness
possitive ways to disagree or resolve conflicts.
The adult child may become angry with themselves
if they were or are passive
or too fearful to confront the behavior of the batterer.
Anger turned inward can be distorted by:
Not trusting one's judgement
Not trusting one's power to act, to say no,
or to walk away from abusive situations.
~by Barbara Corry
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