DISTORTIONS OF ANGER

DISTORTIONS OF ANGER

Adult children of violence witnessed anger in the extreme.

They are taught how to rage by the raging adult.

Some learn how to rage and bully to avoid being hurt by others.

Others become afraid of expressing their anger

because of the extremes of the rages they witnessed.

Adult children may distort their anger into other feelings

such as depression, self-loathing, or failure

for having failed to save or protect the victim and stop the batterer.

Adult children of violence

may harbor unexpressed anger at the abused parent

for failing to protect them or a loved sibling from a beating;

or for ignoring their pain, be it physical or emotional,

during battering incidents.

May be angry at the abused parent for that parent's passivity

when attacked and/or failure to leave the abuse.

Adult children may learn how to

repress or "stonewall"anger from the abused parent.

The child may also be angry with the abused parent

for not getting angry and standing up for self.

The adult child may "take on"the anger

which the abused parent should have expressed.

The adult child of violence does not witness

possitive ways to disagree or resolve conflicts.

The adult child may become angry with themselves

if they were or are passive

or too fearful to confront the behavior of the batterer.

Anger turned inward can be distorted by:

Not trusting one's judgement

~or~

Not trusting one's power to act, to say no,

or to walk away from abusive situations.

~by Barbara Corry

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