Child Of Violence

~Unborn Child~

wondrous new life in mother's womb;

jolted and awakened by her fear,

head and ears bombarded, again, by the sound

waves of familiar angry voices in the night;

~Newborn Child~

grasping at the sides of your crib,

holding on for dear life;

eyes searching for the danger;

terrified by the "hurricane"

of violent arguments which surround you.

~Precious Toddler~

crying heartily as you watch parents battle;

arms outstretched;

needing comfort, wanting peace;

feeling powerless to stop the war

between "the giants."

~Frightened Child~

seeing lives threatened and loved ones degraded,

fearing your own destruction;

tender nervous system already shot;

left alone to cope with

the repeated shocks of a parent's rage.

~Sleeping Child~

rudely awaken, time and time again;

innocent victim, kept awake for hours,

tortured by the fearful sights and sounds

of grown-up fury.

~Hurting Child~

feeling so alone and so scared;

wanting to cry - all the time;

no one to tell, no one to help;

knowing by age 6

what it feels like to want to die.

~Vigilant Child~

ever watchful;

reading your parent/abuser's every sign;

learning how to keep out of harm's way;

not daring to sleep

until the dust had settled.

~Shamed Child~

embarrassed by the family violence,

head and spirit already lowered in shame; f

eeling like a failure,

unable to save those you love

from the batterer's wrath.

~Uneasy Child~

never knowing when the storm

will hit or when it will end;

growing up in chaos;

unfamiliar with words like

"tranquil," "stable,"

"relaxed," or "carefree."

~Courageous Child~

witness to abuse most people never experience;

routinely overcoming terror,

your strength paid for

by all the pain you have known.

~"Empty" Grown-up Child~

without a sense of self;

told by parents that you didn't count;

feeling like you don't matter;

relying on other people

and "things" for a sense of value.

~Guilty Grown-up Child~

in whom self-hatred has resided;

So guilt-ridden that you did whatever

you could to survive

while others suffered

~ in a holocaust called home.

~Lonely Grown-up Child~

so isolated;

feeling like no one can understand

what it was like and how much it hurt;

Fearing that the war,

deep in your memory,

will never go away.

~Angry Grown-up Child~

left to recover;

So hurt by parental neglect;

struggling to work through emotions

distorted long ago; learning to trust;

learning to forgive

~ them and yourself;

learning self-respect;

and, learning how to resolve conflicts

without violence or abuse.

Copyright 1992 by Barbara Corry.

Used by permission.

Thank you Barb