With this blog comes the hopes and dreams that it will serve multiple purposes.
The first and most significant purpose is to serve as an avenue toward healing the pain that many children of families of violence still carry with them in their adult lives.
Secondly, it will provide educational material. As you make your journey, hopefully you will find the support here of others who have made or who are in the process of making this same journey. The tools and the support that you will need can be found here.

Be aware the content of this blog is in no way "Dressed Up". This blog, like family violence itself, is not a walk in the park. Here the reality is faced both past and present!

Content will be added to this blog as it is made available.


Sunday, June 15, 2008

1,000 Marbles

The older I get, the more I enjoy Saturday mornings. Perhaps it's the quiet solitude that comes with being the first to rise, or maybe it's the unbounded joy of not having to be at work.

Either way, the first few hours of a Saturday morning are most enjoyable.

A few weeks ago, I was shuffling toward the backyard patio with a steaming cup of green tea in one hand and the morning paper in the other. What began as a typical Saturday morning, turned into one of those lessons that life seems to hand you from time to time. Let me tell you about it.

I turned the dial up into the phone portion of the band on my ham radio in order to listen to a Saturday morning swap meet. Along the way, I came across an older sounding chap, with a tremendous signal and a golden voice. You know the kind, he sounded like he should be in the broadcasting business. He was telling whoever he was talking with something about "a thousand marbles." I was intrigued and stopped to listen to what he had to say.

"Well, Tom, it sure sounds like you're busy with your job. I'm sure they pay you well but it's a shame you have to be away from home and your family so much. Hard to believe a young fellow should have to work sixty or seventy hours a week to make ends meet. Too bad you missed your daughter's dance recital." He continued, let me tell you something Tom, something that has helped me keep a good perspective on my own priorities." And that's when he began to explain this theory of a "thousand marbles."

"You see, I sat down one day and did a little arithmetic. The average person lives about seventy-five years. I know, some live more and some live less, but on average, folks live about seventy-five years.""Now then, I multiplied 75 times 52 and I came up with 3900 which is the number of Saturdays that the average person has in their entire lifetime.

Now stick with me Tom, I'm getting to the important part. It took me until I was fifty-five years old to think about all this in any detail", he went on, "and by that time I had lived through over twenty-eight hundred Saturdays. I got to thinking that if I lived to be seventy-five, I only had about a thousand of them left to enjoy." "So I went to a toy store and bought every single marble they had. I ended up having to visit three toy stores to round-up 1000 marbles. I took them home and put them inside of a large, clear plastic container right here in the shack next to my gear. Every Saturday since then, I have taken one marble out and thrown it away. I found that by watching the marbles diminish, I focused more on the really important things in life. There is nothing like watching your time here on this earth run out to help get your priorities straight."

"Now let me tell you one last thing before I sign-off with you and take my lovely wife out for breakfast. This morning, I took the very last marble out of the container. I figure if I make it until next Saturday then I have been given a little extra time. And the one thing we can all use is a little more time.It was nice to meet you Tom, I hope you spend more time with your family, and I hope to meet you again here on the band.

You could have heard a pin drop on the radio when this fellow signed off. I guess he gave us all a lot to think about. I had planned to work on the antenna that morning. Instead, I went upstairs and woke my wife up with a kiss. "C'mon honey, I'm taking you and the grand kids to breakfast."

"What brought this on?" she asked with a smile.

"Oh, nothing special, it's just been a while since we spent a Saturday together with the grand kids. Hey, can we stop at a toy store while we're out? I need to buy some marbles."



The Think Tank

How many Saturdays will I remain in an abusive relationship?

How many Saturdays will I miss, being treated well by a partner?

How many Saturdays will be spent feeling powerless,
instead of taking action to improve my situation?

How many Saturdays will I spend feeling badly about myself?
(shame, guilt, low self esteem, self-loathing, etc.)

How many Saturdays will I spend with my insides
tied up in knots, wondering what little incident will
send my partner into a rage again?

How many Saturdays will I try to block from my memory
because they are too painful to think about?

How many Saturdays will I continue to allow my partner
to control and manipulate me?

What do I need to do today to begin making the changes
I need to make in my life.


Bev said...

Hello Jo, I saw your frequent comments on my blog and came over here to get to know you a little. I'm intrigued by what I read here and will be back. xoxo

Clueless said...

I was wondering if you received my email over the weekend. Apparently, several emails on the weekend did not go through. I just wanted to tell a little about me. I'm not up to writing, now, but maybe you can read my sidebar in my blog? Thank you for your time and for writing this blog.

Reva said...

I've heard the story about the marbles before and it's as good this time as it was then. We all need to take stock in our time alloted to us and remember to make the most of it. I know your blog will be an ongoing inspiration and hope for many. I am in the process of writing a novel about childhood written from a childs perspective and it touches pretty heavily on just your topic. Maybe sometime you can read just a little of it and see if it rings true for you. Much of what I am writing is based on some true lives. More later and thanks for just being you!

Strong & determined said...

As I progress on my healing journey, I am interested in other survivor's blogs. This post was especially meaningful to me.
Thank you..

sEy said...

This serves as one of my inspiration to move forward despite the hardship and sleepless days that I'm in right now....! thank you for the inspiration